So, today for lunch we stopped to eat a quick bite at a fast food restaurant. While we were in line, a lady came up behind Josiah and just started rubbing his hair. I didn't know who she was, but she had a face that looked like it could possibly be familiar. We were just down the road from church, so I though maybe that's how she knew us. Our kids seem to be pretty well-known there now. I knew she wasn't a regular worker with the kids, but didn't want to seem rude, so I didn't say anything. After it had seriously been several minutes, and she kept rubbing his hair, I was definitely feeling weird. She would make little comments like, "He doesn't realize it's me," and "He must think it's you." Both of which could be true. David and I both rub Josiah's hair a lot ;-) He finally looked up at the lady and didn't show any recognition, but didn't seem worried, either. He kind of shifted places, and I thought that was the end of it.
As we moved up in line (this place was seriously slow today!), Elizabeth took off the hat she was wearing, and the lady just reached up and started touching her hair, saying, "She has such beautiful hair." By this point, I decided the kids and I would just go find a seat and let David order the food.
When David finally sat down, I asked if he knew the lady. Definitely not! I asked Elizabeth, and she didn't either. Really weirded out now! I love touching my kids hair, and I guess it's kind of a compliment that this lady wanted to keep touching their hair. I even touch other kids' hair, but would never do it to a child I don't know and don't know their parents. And definitely not for several minutes! I'm not sure how I should have reacted. I definitely don't want to alarm the kids, but I don't want them to think they have to stand there and allow that from someone, particularly a stranger! Any suggestions for a response?
While we were eating, Elizabeth made a comment that everyone thinks Josiah is so cute, but not her. I thought about using that lady as an example since she did rub both their heads, but decided against it. I found some other, more acceptable, examples to remind her that people think she's pretty darn cute, too!
5 comments:
Wow.. that is creepy! You handled it perfectly by removing the children from the order line. Kids are abducted by weirdos all the time. Thats not normal for anyone to want to continually stroke the hair of a child they dont know. I'd make sure the kids know that strangers are NOT allowed to touch them... EVER!
Uhhh completely inappropriate and weird lady! i don't get people, honestly!!!!!!
Creepy. Definitely not appropriate. Some people truly lack social skills too, (I know some of them) so they may not even realize, no matter how old they are, that their actions are inappropriate.
Elizabeth is picking up on something I think, that she may have to battle for awhile. Some people, who are not sure what to say about our transracial families, but don't want to be caught staring, will mention how cute/adorable/darling is the child who is so obviously "different" from the rest of the family. They are letting you know that they "approve" of your family... They don't realize that older kids are listening and possibly feeling bad about the comments. I know another mom who had this same experience happen over and over again with her kids. It will be interesting to see when new baby comes, after a while who gets more attention, Josiah or the baby. ???
Definitely wierd... definitely wouldn't allow it... and definitely a smart Momma.
Please tell the beee-u-teee-ful Princess Elizabeth that I happen to think she's wayyyy cute! I love her smile, I love her spunk, I love how she loves Jesus, I love her eyes, I love her hair, I love how funny she is, I love her family, and I love her!
Very interesting what JMK says above.
Been wondering how you guys were doing - hope all is well. Loved the pictures - looked like a great day.
Love,
Toni, for the Benton's
Yeah, Totally weird. I am not sure what I would have done in that situation. Good Choice.
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