What if someday?

Tomorrow marks our one year anniversary of being home together as a family! Someone told me happy famiversary, and I love that word :-) But even as I'm remembering the growth and changes from the last year, and rejoicing at how God has brought our family together, I'm thinking of another who is not home with us.

Our little Jose is not home with a forever family. The last we were told, a few months ago, was that he was still living with his foster mom. I still think about him a lot. But I'm a little more emotional today. Saturday, I read a post about Shadley remembering the referral of her sweet boy now in Jesus' arms. Then this evening, Elizabeth just walked over, took Jose's picture off the refrigerator, kissed it, and told him she loved him and is praying for him. Ouch, my heartstrings are being pulled!

How can I, even after all this time, miss a little boy I have never met? Why do I keep wishing things could have been different, even while knowing that God's plan is perfect? Please do not mistake me. I, in no way, wish that Jose was here instead of Josiah. I know that Josiah is our son and is meant to be here! So how can those thoughts work together?

Well, I start to think, "What if someday....?"

What if someday Guatemala reopened adoptions and somehow they found away to fix or change the paperwork required so Jose was adoptable again. (God has totally done crazier things before! :-D)

What if they called us and offered for us to pursue his adoption? (David and I have already discussed this, and we would do whatever it took to bring him home!)

What if someday all this actually happened, and we had "twin" boys with two different beautiful shades of brown skin? (They are only about 3 weeks apart!)

My head tells me that none of this is going to happen. But there are times when my heart likes to imagine the possibility.

Josiah's Turn

Don't want to leave Josiah out, so here's an update on him, too ;-)

Josiah had been growing and changing so much! He'll be three in about a month! He loves playing with his big sister, but is getting better at playing on his own, too. His vocabulary continues to develop. He has well over 100 words that he uses on a regular basis. He is learning to put sentences and phrases together more and more. Grandma Allen said she couldn't believe the changes in him just between the beginning of January and the beginning of March!

He has thinned out somewhat again, but some clothes are actually fitting on his waist now :-) He has gained at least a solid 3 pounds since coming home. His feet have grown like crazy! Mommy and Daddy didn't realize how fast until the other night. We thought he might need new sneakers soon. We didn't realize how cramped his little toes are in those shoes! We're having a hard time convincing him that he needs a different pair of shoes though. I'm really wishing I had stocked up on the car shoes when we bought the first pair!

He is mischievous and a flirt. He does like to push Elizabeth's buttons somewhat, but he is also very sensitive. Anytime someone is crying, especially Sissy (Elizabeth and Josiah use this name, NOT us ;-)), he goes to sooth and make sure everything is okay.

I think he has finally decided to like cake ;-)

A couple of other quick updates:

* We asked about Jose, the little boy we were in the process of adopting from Guatemala. He will also be turning 3 in May. It's been over a year and half since we were told we could not adopt him, but he is still living with his foster mom. We are sending a package down with a family travelling to bring their child home, and hope to establish some contact to get updates on him.

*Tomorrow, we are having our first sonogram to date the pregnancy! Elizabeth keeps hoping there are two babies; we'll find out tomorrow!

Feliz cumpleaños a ti, Niño Precioso.

A Lot on My Mind

Tonight, I don’t think I’m going to be getting much sleep. Even if I do, my eyes are going to be red and puffy in the morning. There are so many things on my mind.

Today is Jose’s birthday (well it'll be the 29th in Guatemala in a couple hours). He’s turning 2. When we first started this process, we were pretty sure he would be home with us by this point. I know now that, even without the document issues, that would have been nigh impossible in the current atmosphere in Guatemala—especially since he has a Mixco birth certificate. But it still hurts thinking of what “should” have been. We didn’t send anything down, and I feel guilty about that. We haven’t heard anything about him in several months, so I’m not even sure if he is still with his foster mom or somewhere else. I think we might get a little birthday cake and sing to him. Of course, we’ll pray for him and all those involved in his life.

I know God is touching my heart with so many things right now…clean water, HIV, famine, orphans, widows, Red Letters, sacrificial giving, our adoption, friends' adoptions…I don’t know what to do with it all. But I’m praying He will not let me become complacent. He will stir my heart until I know and follow His lead.

Simple Solution

I wish things were as simple in real life as they are in Elizabeth's sweet mind.

Out of the blue, she mentioned that she wishes Jose could come to our house. (Jose is the little boy in Guatemala we were previously matched with.) I told her that I wish Jose could come to our house, too, but that the government will not let him. She asked why. I said that there are some things with his paperwork that the government in Guatemala does not like, and so they won't let him be adopted. She smiled and said, "Well, we could get his papers and draw funny faces on the back. The man in the government would like it and laugh and laugh. Then he would let Jose come!"

Why didn't I think of that! All this worry about proper notorization, state seals, and all we had to do was draw funny faces! ;-)

Update

Just wanted to give you an update about what has been going on with us. Sorry...it's kind of long...lots of prayer requests :-)

It is definite that we will not be able to bring Jose home. Both a praise and a prayer request is that we have been told he will go to live with his birthmother. How wonderful that he will be able to know her and she him! However, after not having him for 19 months, it will be quite an adjustment for both of them. And the reasons she relinquished him at his birth have not changed. Please be in prayer
for them and for the foster mother who has been caring for him all along.

This has been a very painful time for us. We know that Jose was not legally ours, and that we have never physically seen him. However, in our hearts and minds, he was already part of our family. We know that God brought him into our lives for a reason. It has been such a blessing to have friends around us who understand. Some have been through similar situations, but all have been very loving and supportive. We have told Elizabeth, and at times she seems to understand that he will not be coming home, but at other times she still speaks about him being her brother. We let her know that we can pray for him and love him even though he won't be here with us.

A huge praise! A law was passed in Guatemala that allows in-process adoptions to continue; it's not everything we hoped for, but it is a step. There are still MANY details that need to be figured out. Also, there is no provision for the children who are not in process for being adopted. Continue to pray for all the children who are being adopted internationally and who will remain in Guatemala.

*Please pray especially for some friends of ours who are trying to bring their little boy home! They are SO close to having him home, but there are some very large obstacles in their path. Thankfully, God is bigger than anything that can be placed or thrown in the way.*

With much prayer and thought, we are begining the adoption process in another country. Though the law passed in Guatemala, now is not the time to begin with a new referral for a child there. Perhaps God will lead us back in the future. Right now we are trusting and trying to take one step at a time. We have been approved within our agency to enter their program for adoptions in Ethiopia. It means we will have to do a lot of redundant paperwork since we won't be able to use many
of the items we needed for Guatemala. But that means we should already know what we're doing, right? ;-)

Thank you all for you love and support! It means the world to us!

~Blessings~

Prayer Request

All,

We learned this evening that Joshua will not be coming home. Due to paperwork descrepencies with his birth family, the adoption process for Joshua will not be able to continue foward. Please pray for us as a whirlwind of information is coming in and our emotions bounce around.


With Love,
David, Demarie, and Elizabeth

Praise!

Praise God! We just found out that the coordinator in Guatemala found the original birth certificate for Joshua's birth mother! This means that hopefully soon they can begin the next step (rectifying the birth mother's paperwork and then Joshua's.) There is still a lot more to go, but this is a HUGE important step!

Thank you for all of your continuing prayers! Please keep praying for the Guatemalan government. They are supposed to be voting on the needed changes to the adoption law this week.


Blessings!

First POA Legalized

We received word today that our first POA has been legalized. Will probably will still have to do another POA once the name corrections have been completed, but this POA will help the process, and puts us one step closer.

Note: Also, please pray for Guatemala over the next few days. They had presidential elections over the weekend, and congretional voting will occur this week on potential grandfather clauses. Both of these processes will probably have major impacts on current and future adoptions.


Love in Christ,
David N Baber

Rough Day

Hi All,

It's been kind of a rough day with us (Elizabeth and Mommy). Elizabeth went to sleep early last night, but I still had to wake her up to get ready for school this morning. Then she was moody and contrary...not totally unusual. However, on the way to school she randomly said, "God is not here. He only is here at night." We
talked about it, and I'm still not sure why she said that. But she said she sees Him at night, but He's not around during the day. Then she was asking questions about where God lives and such, so I kind of let it go.


On the way home from shopping this evening, we were singing, "We are the children of God." Suddenly, adamently, she said she does not like God. When I asked her the reason she said that she wants to be a big sister and she wants her brother home NOW. Then she started sobbing and telling me over and over again that she wants her brother home with us and that she doesn't like God. I tried to talk with her about
how God is in control and we can't always understand why or when things happen, but we know that God knows the best way. And even though Joshua isn't home with us yet, God is still taking care of him and loves Joshua and her. She did say, "and God loves you and Joshua's foster mom," and so on. Then she moved on to a whole other
subject.


I thinking we did TOO well preparing her to have a little brother. I am very grateful that she understands that God is in control in our adoption. Maybe this is part of the reason she's been more emotional lately, too. Any thoughts or suggestions for helping a preschooler to understand His timing?

More info about Jose's adoption

We learned some additional information about Jose's case. IF his birth mother's birth record is found, all the changed needed for her documents and his could easily take up to a year. THEN we could move forward with the actual adoption process.

If this is the timeframe it takes, we will have to redo pretty much all of our documents. And I'm wondering if it takes so long, if Guatemala might require us to follow whatever new system might be in place by then.


If the birth mother's record is not found, it is questionable if we'll be able to proceed at all.


We are blessed to have a social worker and agency who really cares. Our social worker said, "I can guarantee you that Bethany will be in this for the long haul with you and will do everything we can to the best of our ability."


We are even more blessed to know we serve a God who is in control, and is bigger than any obstacle that might be placed before us. He has brought us to this place, and will bring about His purpose.

Update on our conference call

An update about our conference call:

We were able to speak with our social worker, the program coodinator for Bethany, and the contact actually in Guatemala.


Apparently when Jose's birthmother was born, her documents were recorded with an error that was passed on to Jose's documents now. This needs to be corrected, but can't until specific paperwork is found and sent to a certain government agency within Guatemala. We can't begin most of the adoption steps until the changes are made. So, we will have some definite delays with the process. We are praying that this will all be resolved as quickly as possible.


We did get some hopefully good news, though. Our power of attorney is in the process of being protocolized with the central registry in Guatemala and should be complete sometime this week. This means that if the amendment is passed to allow grandfathering of in-process adoptions, we should be able to continue with Jose's adoption! We're disappointed about the delay, but much more hopeful that our process will continue.


Thanks for keeping us in your prayers!

October Picture of Our Little Man

We were sent new pictures today! So here's the link if you want to see them!

http://picasaweb.google.com/dnbaber/JoseOctoberPictures?authkey=PFu8X...


Thank you to all who are praying and thinking about our family and the situation in Guatemala. There have been many groups advocating for the children and families. And there has been some positive feedback from the government in Guatemala. However, nothing is definite yet.


In addition to all this, we do have some concerns specific to Jose's case. When the previous family was in the process of adopting him, some issues with birth certificates (I'm not sure yet if it's only his or his birthmom's.) were found. The lawyer and agency have been working on resolving them the whole time, but it's more than they realized. We are having a conference call with our social worker and
the representative in Guatemala tomorrow at 4. We'll post more as we have more info.

Please Please Pray!

For a long time, there has been rumor that the government of Guatemala was going to cease adoptions with the U.S. However, a few days ago the U.S. Department of State published a document saying that is exactly what is going to happen. Apparently, certain government
officials in Guatemala have made known that currently all adoptions with the U.S. are to cease by January 1, 2008. The way things are going right now, there is not even a chance to begin adoptions again possibly until April of 2008.

The U.S. DOS and some adoption organizations are trying to convince Guatemala to include "Grandfather clauses" in the legislation they are passing. This would allow families already in the adoption process in Guatemala to continue. There is also a chance that the Jan. 1 date could be pushed back.


I'm not sure that either of these changes will help us, as we have not begun any of the official processes in Guatemala yet. However, there are hundreds of families in the adoption process right now who may not be able to bring their children home. There are thousands of children
in Guatemala who will not have the chance to be part of a family, and there are no social services to be able to provide for them.


PLEASE PRAY
1. For the families and children who are in this process...they are going through tremendous stress and heartache right now. (We have several friends who are much further along in the process and have already been waiting so long to bring their little ones home.)


2. That the leaders in both countries will focus on the children who are involved, rather than their pocketbooks or reputations.


3. God will use one of these possible changes or one of His own miraculous design to allow these children to join the forever families who are waiting for them.


4. God will make it abundantly clear to us what His path is for us. Right now, until we are forced to change, we are planning to move ahead as much as possible.

Long Wait!

We received notice that all of our paperwork has been sent to Guatemala! YEAH...the paper chase is done! Now comes the LONG wait.

New Photos

We got some new photos of Joshua Jose today, and posted some pictures of Elizabeth at Little Gym. We decided to start using online photo albums to share pictures rather than adding them to the pages on here. So, here are links to go to the photo albums.

Joshua
http://picasaweb.google.com/dnbaber/JoshuaJose?authkey=FOtB3gYACI0


Elizabeth
http://picasaweb.google.com/dnbaber/ElizabethAtLittleGym?authkey=TXSM...

Immigration Clearance

Yeah! We got our I-171H in the mail today. That means U.S. Immigration has pre-approved us to adopt a child from Guatemala. It doesn't seem like much, but it's another necessary step in the process.

Next Step

FYI...

We received the official referral (child) acceptance documentation for Jose, so we begin the next phase of the adoption process. Bethany Christian Services has also placed our dossier in the mail, and sent it on its way to Guatamala. We are still waiting for our USCIS clearance, but it should be coming very soon...so they say. As soon as we finish the acceptance documentation, we'll be in full waiting mode on Guatamala and the U.S. Government to complete their processes.


With Love,
David, Demarie, & Elizabeth

Our Son's Name

The little guy, we are going to persue in adoption, current name is: Jose Amilcar Abrigo Gomez


We are currently planning to make his first name "Joshua", and will most likely keep part of his original name. Tentatively we plan on calling him: Joshua "Jose" Baber. But we'll see what God ultimately puts in our hearts.