What if someday?

Tomorrow marks our one year anniversary of being home together as a family! Someone told me happy famiversary, and I love that word :-) But even as I'm remembering the growth and changes from the last year, and rejoicing at how God has brought our family together, I'm thinking of another who is not home with us.

Our little Jose is not home with a forever family. The last we were told, a few months ago, was that he was still living with his foster mom. I still think about him a lot. But I'm a little more emotional today. Saturday, I read a post about Shadley remembering the referral of her sweet boy now in Jesus' arms. Then this evening, Elizabeth just walked over, took Jose's picture off the refrigerator, kissed it, and told him she loved him and is praying for him. Ouch, my heartstrings are being pulled!

How can I, even after all this time, miss a little boy I have never met? Why do I keep wishing things could have been different, even while knowing that God's plan is perfect? Please do not mistake me. I, in no way, wish that Jose was here instead of Josiah. I know that Josiah is our son and is meant to be here! So how can those thoughts work together?

Well, I start to think, "What if someday....?"

What if someday Guatemala reopened adoptions and somehow they found away to fix or change the paperwork required so Jose was adoptable again. (God has totally done crazier things before! :-D)

What if they called us and offered for us to pursue his adoption? (David and I have already discussed this, and we would do whatever it took to bring him home!)

What if someday all this actually happened, and we had "twin" boys with two different beautiful shades of brown skin? (They are only about 3 weeks apart!)

My head tells me that none of this is going to happen. But there are times when my heart likes to imagine the possibility.