This is an emotional week. It is SO fun to see how excited Josiah is about his birthday coming at the end of the week! The most random things make him think of it. The phrase I hear the most from him lately is "Josiah's Birthday!" He has also been more emotional this week, getting very upset about what seems like nothing. I'm thinking it has to be related.
Coming this close to his birthday brings up a lot of other emotions, for me, too. I am so happy he is here and able to celebrate his Third birthday (his first in the U.S.) with us! Part of me is sad that he has missed out in previous years. But more of me is sad, thinking about what he is missing by being here instead of in Ethiopia. Yes, I absolutely believe he is supposed to be here. But I wish he didn't have to be here...if that makes sense.
Josiah's birthday marks 8 months home with us! The time has flown! He has grown so incredibly much! (But more on that in another post!)
His birthday also marks about a year since he was relinquished.
I think about his father and wonder if he is thinking of Josiah, his Abraham. I wonder if his grief over his wife has lessened any or has just been expanded by the loss of his son, as well. Does he still feel like it was the only choice he had?
I've been thinking a lot about the journey Josiah has taken in the last year. He left probably the only home and person/people he had known and was taken to a local orphanage for a couple days. He took a very long van ride with a nanny, pretty much a stranger, and was brought to the main orphanage in Addis. He was unfamiliar with all the people, the language, probably even the food and smells. He was there for just over three months, and was moved again to the transition house. Then we came in with different everything and take him on a plane to the other side of the world where nothing is familiar. And then, we even move to two different houses. All of this in a year! I can think through all the changes and ache in response to the pain he has experienced, but there is no way I can fully understand everything he has been through in this short time.
He has every right to be bitter and angry and difficult. Yet, he's not! I'm amazed by this kid! I'm even more amazed by our God because absolutely NONE of us would function without Him.
4 comments:
Sniff sniff... :( I hear you. Little Josiah, may your birthday be blessed and may your heart and mind continue to heal from all that you have been through. I understand completely about knowing your child is where he is for a reason, and yet aching that it had to be so.
So beautiful....It is hard to live knowing that our gain is such a loss for so many others...but also knowing that it is God willed and what is supposed to be. Praying that Josiah has a WONDERFUL 3rd birthday and the Lord brings peace to your heart!! Many hugs!!
Happy Happy Birthday Josiah!!!!
I can't believe that he is 3 already!!!
Are you still planning on coming up anytime soon??
I'm not sure how I found your blog - surfing through the Ethiopia blogs - but I want to tell you how lovely this post is about his birthday.
I hope it was a very happy one! Three is such a lovely age. I pray his father's grief is lifted. Perhaps he will take some small comfort in knowing his son will have opportunities that he did not.
Many blessings for all of you.
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