So, I'm not sure if I messed up or what.
I wrote about going to Delaware last week with Elizabeth and Josiah while David stayed home. Josiah has adjusted so well in most areas, and since we were going with my parents who we had seen the past few days, I thought it'd be no problem. He did so well in the car, and even sleeping in the hotel with Elizabeth and myself. The trip was great!
It's been since we returned home that he's been different. Both of my kids are more of "mama's babies", but he's been even more so since we've been back. He's not been running to kiss and play with David like he was. Bedtime is the one are we kind of struggled with before, but it seems a lot more of a struggle these past few days. Last night he was up past 11pm with me, and just didn't rest as easily when he did fall asleep. Before, when David put him to sleep, he would fuss, but fall asleep pretty quickly. Since we've been back, he's been full out screaming and fighting sleep as long as possible. (He does not have these responses when lying down for naps.)
I'm not sure if the trip just kind of threw him for a few days, or if this is related to attachment--brought on by our night away or just because he is at that stage now. I'm wondering even more than I was before if something happened during bedtime in Ethiopia.
The kids and I were going to spend some time with my mom after her surgery in a few weeks, but I'm really not sure that's a good idea now, especially since David won't be there for the entire time. I'm just not sure what to do. Anyone have advice about bedtime or the trip?
3 comments:
I wouldn't panic yet. Give it a couple more days and then see how Josiah is doing. After Levi and I do something new we always have to take at least one day at home doing just mommy and son things to get him back on track. It is probably partly attachment related with Josiah, but hopefully it won't take long for him to be back into his routine with all of you. It is so hard to know when to try new things and when to hunker down at home.
Thanks, Beth! :-)
Boy, I didn't realize I'd missed so many new posts! I hope things are going better. One thing you'll notice with attachment is that it is also very cyclical and there will be periods where it is hard mixed in with periods of great growth. We are thinking of taking Bereket on her first overnight away from home but we are worried she isn't ready yet. Even on long days away from home (where we come home to spend the night) we notice that she starts to act a bit "off"... spacing out, doing crazy things, etc. Also, know that it is very common for grieving to come out at nighttime in the dark, so I wouldn't just assume it's bedtime troubles, but that it could be that that is when he is doing his grieving. Also, take the grieving as a good sign; it means he's not afraid to show you how he's coping right now. My SW has said it is more worrisome when they hear about kids that seemingly don't grieve at all. Just hang in there and continue to be there for him. :D We pushed Ellie too soon on a lot of issues and I think that is partly why it took her so long to really healthily attach to both Ben and I. She was home for 8 months before she decided it was okay if mommy took a shower and Daddy played with her while I did. Before that it would be bloody murder life is ending screaming.
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